Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude has many benefits. Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. Let me tell you why. Lets see where we can go with this. Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. It's nothing bad or unusual. "I know you have a lot going on . Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. To be proud of yourself for your success is one thing, for another is to be proud, they had better have seen you come up through the trenches to witness that moment or to have been involved in the process. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. 12. As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. Use words that will strengthen your relationship. Yeah, If grandpa was here, he would have said the same. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" I wasnt happy with this performance. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. 4. I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. A 2017 analysis of 2012 national data from the US, showed that parent behaviour could have a protective role in a their child's mental health. Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. In what context. 15. Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? Be proud that you are here. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. 9. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. My husband just said it to me a couple of days ago (for a little achievement I just made in my physique) and it made me happy as well. It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. I again said. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. I teach high school. I still think she was doing this at the time. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". What is BBC Future? "I know how you feel". If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. 12. And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? . After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. "How I do love you!" Maybe some people act in a way that makes you upset they're doing that on behalf of your country, but you just remember that's not the reason you're proud to be from where you are. ), Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully, Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. 15. So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. that he harrassed them or . A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. You look so much better!". I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. 3. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. . What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). They seem to make him quite happy. . Talents Compliments. I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful 2. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. That way, all they have to do is show up. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? Thats my life goal. 4. A friend persevered in getting her masters degree after running into academic trouble as an undergrad. This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. July 7, 2020 April 21, 2018 The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. . 5. Just the way you look and react to your husband can give the impression that you are honored to be his wife. 13. Your email address will not be published. "You make me so mad.". Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. Make sure to take the time to think about how you want to respond. It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. 0. So, lets get started! If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. I have always struggled with this word. . I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. Marilyn, My life changed the day I heard Mr. Rogers tell me he liked me just the way I was. 2. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? 5. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. 1. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. Its very presumptuous. Sajeev Rajan I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. I don't think you . When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. Thanks. I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. When someone says Im proud of you, first of all thanking them is the common response we usually have. Thank you for your kind words.. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. I would almost join FB in order to make the comment, Why are you proud and impressed? So, the next time someone says Im proud of you, remember to take the time to think about how you want to respond. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. I'm so proud of your painting!" And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. But is that really very useful? Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Who determines the meaning of words? Pause before responding. Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. About 5 years ago, an ex college girlfriend and I began emailing each other occasionally (not often just once every 2-3 months or so). . When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration and respect for you and that can be a powerful thing. As parents, it's important to stay calm and resist the urge to blame our kids or anyone else, really for our emotions. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? As soon as you break . thats a case of someone doing one-upmanship. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. Who is saying this to whom? On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. Like I wasnt doing enough before? The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. But to be proud of them? Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. I realized that I needed to open myself up to friends and partners as well. I may never know but you can simply ask him if you question the genuineness in his response. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. All rights reserved. Truly grateful to have such a loving family. 1. "Im proud of you!" Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. Thanks. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. "I know someone in recovery". Im proud of myself, too. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. In most situation expresses negative connotations, such as "He is very ", which means he is over proud of himself (). However, is this what happens? By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. . They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight. Im so glad to hear that. 7. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. 25. You know that I'm bound to see you. JavaScript is disabled. The way you _____ is such a perfect addition for our family. Everything you do is with excellence. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. 17. Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. Future Planet. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. They just say it. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. A significant share of Americans (44%) say they personally know someone who has been shot, either accidentally or intentionally. The Next Giant Leap. You are using an out of date browser. 2. Think of things people have often praised. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. Home / How Do I Respond To Im proud of you? PJ, I will give my thoughts on your post at the end of my post. The Psychology of Bragging. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. 12. Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. Which brings me to my next point. How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our childs latest achievement? How come you didnt come to watch this match? My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. I have deep concerns if children crave to hear "I'm proud of you" because they want to know that their parents approve of them - of their behaviour, of their decisions in life. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, Oh.. very good. Based on the situation and who says this, heres a list of better responses to pick. It may not display this or other websites correctly. (a short read). A parent might say this to a child, perhaps. Thank you for starting this. This is why we say, I am very happy for you! They are the one to feel proudit was THEIR accomplishment. Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. 8. Don't remind them how far they've come. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? Second, he must know you well. I am here for the same reason. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. I am very proud of you too; we all are. 1. If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. I agree that its a phrase that is really reserved for the individual doing, or accomplishing something, i.e. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. No, I am more proud of you, too. "Nothing is ever wrong. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. Thats what I think. We learn from every step we take. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. Instead, I try implementing the approach from Parent Effectiveness Training (PET), a peaceful, gentle approach to parenting, that teaches respectful communication skills, and offers alternatives to using rewards (such as praise), or punishments (such as saying "Im disappointed"). Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! Well done!. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. 11. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: . A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . I was irritated by that remark. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. Congratulations to our dearest son. I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. Compare: "Oh bear!" 7. Oh, thank you, friend. Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. Stay in the know when we release new content! 6. Thank you so much! "), Friend: "I'm proud of you for being brave and standing up to your boss", As the friend who has found that courage, is this statement something you would appreciate? Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. This post was actually very helpful for me! It does not take it away from them. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. Youre like my sister from another mother. It isnt. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? However Simon Cowell for instance often says he is proud of a contestant he has never met before. 5. by Carolyn Steber. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. 4 . Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. The other three sound as if you're saying you're proud of yourself too. I have never regarded the word pride as implying that the one feeling it is somehow responsible for it. Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. Thanks for making us proud. Thanks. An FBI witness says that members of the far-right Proud Boys had hoped to assassinate Vice President Mike Pence and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi during last week's violent storming of the U.S . The words hit me like a . I think we need to invent another word for that wonderful feeling in our own chest when someone we care for does something they feel proud about and we agree that they should feel proud. 11. A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. I am still so mad, but I havent said anything about it. Since first publishing this piece, I've spent many years thinking about, and discussing, why children might like to hear their parents say "I'm proud of you". Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. This is a very interesting discussion for me. It makes a difference I think. 24. You are taking joy in someone else doing good. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. 10. You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. For what? Can "me too" be used here? How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. . You shouldnt be. It's a way of congratulating someone for having accomplished something impressive. Best of BBC Future. The effect of this praise might be opposite to the aim of the parent. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". 10. "How long have you been sober?". Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. The rest were manual labourers. 16. 16. When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. So you better know in which tone theyre saying so. Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us.